CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
