Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
