he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
