Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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