Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
