i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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