Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
