strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
