Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
