I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
