I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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