you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
