i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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