Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
