I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
