he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize