My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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