This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
