I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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