Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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