There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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