i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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