5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
