before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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