let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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