I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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