I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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