I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
