btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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