? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
