1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
