I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
