Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
