you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You pole danced in your parka.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
