Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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