Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
