You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
