i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
