oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
