haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
