guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
