I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
