9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
