Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize