Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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