so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
