New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
