I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
