Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
