I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
