whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
