Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
