K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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